i don't know what to do right now

hmmm.....2day i'm really2 feel sad because i know one day i will lose 1 frenz... but i can't say anything to her... yesterday, one persoam ask me why not i'm hangout with her but i have 2 lie cz i don't want badmouth say something about her... then 2day i know her hangout with someone else...i feel very2 sad but i can not say nothing cz it is her choose 2 leave me as her frenz... i know i hurt her heart but i have too.... her very kind-hearted 2 me but i don't want anymore 2 hurt her heart i cannot see her cry anymore 2 me... but i'm hepy bcz her can smile without me...if can i want 2 say something to her but my mouth can not open cz my mind blur now.... " my belove frenz,  i jst want 2 say i love u and i'm happy frenz with u... forgive me cz i'm not ignore at u 2 3  this day...honestly i'm really jlouse when see u more close with someone else...i'm really2 sorry cz i can not hangout with u like before cz i don't want u 2 lie 2 your family anymore...but my heart really2 want 2 hangout just with u like before...i don't care if u want 2 ask someone else but i feel not comfortable n lonely cz u not stay n talk with me but with your another frenz...i hope u will understand my heart cz i cannot say through my mouth....forgive me my belove frenz.... i jst want our relationship like before,we walk 2gether, eat 2gether n anything we r doing 2gether.... but if u don't want 2 frenz with me like before u can say 2 me cz i want 2 herd from ur mouth.... if u happy n comfortable with some one u close now i with open-heart 2 leave u both 2gether... i know i'm stupid n jst can frens stpid like me n i know 2 u took me when everyone throw me like rubish and i'm appreciated what 2 u...u r also kind-hearted..." i just want u honest with me...thats all....